This is a rant of a few thoughts that have been rattling around in me head for a while.
There is this tendency ( I think particularly among younger people ) to idealize the idea of “unconditional love” as the perfect romance. There seems to be a lot of people who pair the idea of unconditional love with true love and how you should be loved unconditionally.
While it might sound good on the surface, the idea of someone loving you know matter what you do as an adult in an adult relationship I see it has the foundation of a very unhealthy relationship.
Any relationship be it a friendship, a romantic partnership, or even to a degree a familial relationship should in face come with expected conditions of how one expects to be treated and how they are expected to treat the other party involved.
While you should be accepted and loved for who you are, that does not mean you should have free reign to behave however you want within a relationship without being held accountable.
And if you have an expectation of being loved unconditionally than it must be presumed that you yourself are prepared to also love unconditionally (sounds sweet right?) but a such you are not establishing any boundaries for how you expect to be treated. If you say I will love you unconditionally but xyz you are than of course putting a condition on it.
Conditions are in fact part of a healthy striving relationship.
This somewhat leads into my next ranting thought for the evening.
Now I will not deny that I am not the most sympathetic person in the world nor the most compassionate but people tend to think that I am unfair in my unwillingness to just overlook/ accept the fact that people are imperfect and everybody makes mistakes.
By which I mean I do not deny these facts are true, but just because they are true and common does not mean I am willing to just let people skate by and get away with their bullshit.
A “mistake” as people like to call it (because they think that makes it sound nicer) is really a conscious choice a person make to do something which they know they shouldn’t (or presumably know they shouldn’t in some cases it is questionable). There may be a great many circumstances which lead to said choice being made, but that does not change the root fact that generally speaking “mistakes” do not just sort of accidentally and uncontrollably happen. Regardless of the reason they are still a choice a person makes knowing the possible ramification it may have.
And my point of view is that people do not learn from these so called mistakes if there are not irrevocable consequences. Just patting them on the back and saying it is ok we all make mistakes is only giving them a free pass to do it again, and enabling them to continue to make the same bad decisions.
Tying things up to what I said in the beginning it is good to have expectations of how the people in your life will treat you, and when they fail to living up to those expectations, it can be for the best to cut them loose.
Labyrinth of the Mind 